I got into a disagreement at work yesterday. The disagreement concerned the ongoing debate about vulgar, misogynistic and demeaning lyrics in rap music. As you may know, on the heels of shock-jock Don Imus getting fired over the infamous "nappy-headed hos" comment, hip-hop pioneer Russell Simmons has called on the rap community to police itself by eliminating words like bitch, ho and the N-word from their lyrics.

What's the connection? As Imus started to go up in flames, many of his defenders fervently objected, stating correctly that some rap artists use far more demeaning language when referring to black women. Why is there a double standard?

The heart of the question is twofold. Is there a double standard when it comes to using words like "nappy-headed ho" between blacks and whites? I think the answer is an obvious yes. Imus immolated not only because of what he said but because he was a white man who said it.

Should there be a double standard? That, to me, is a far trickier, more delicate question.

Many would say there should be no double standard. To quote Maya Angelou, "Vulgarity is vulgarity is vulgarity. And the vulgarity that comes out of a black mouth or a white mouth or an Asian mouth is still vulgarity." With this I have a hard time disagreeing. Besides, to object to anything Maya Angelou says is tantamount to blasphemy. I agree--the N-word or sexist words such as bitch or ho are plain vulgarity regardless of the color of the mouth they emanate from.

But... there's a reason for the double standard.

If I hear black rappers like Snoop Dogg or 50 Cent using the N-word in their lyrics, which they frequently do, perhaps I'll make a mental note that it's not the music I want to listen to and I'll move on.

But if I hear a white rapper like Eminem use the same lyrics, I'm going to stop in my tracks. Literally. Right or wrong, that double standard comes into play. I'm going to find the former objectionable, and the latter offensive.

In my personal opinion, as a black man, another black man cannot "hurt" me with the N-word. Perhaps it's because we have a shared history of oppression with the word. Perhaps it's because as he uses it against me, I know it's been used against him. It's a word without any vigor behind it.

But, if a white rapper were to use the word, or a Don Imus to use equally offensive language when describing a young group of black collegiate women, then I see those words being used as a blunt instrument. They're being used to hurt, humiliate and destroy.

In an ideal world, should double standards exist? No. In an ideal world, would rap lyrics be cluttered with misogynistic, hateful language? No. Do I believe rappers should be given carte blanche to use profanity in their lyrics and call young black women bitches and hoes simply because they're not creative enough to write something more imaginative? No, I do not.

But we don't live in an ideal world. Imus didn't break the law when he demeaned the Rutgers women's-basketball team. But he did break a social code--a white man with a public platform cannot use racist language without repercussion. It's a fine high wire dance that other "questionable" shock-jocks like Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh dance delicately every day. Imus fell off. And I don't have a problem with that at all.