You've got the job offer. Now comes the hard part. Negotiating your best salary package can be tricky. It not only requires extensive research on the overall health of the industry and an understanding of where you are in your career, but it also takes the gumption to ask for what you want. And for some, that can be the hardest part of the process, says Carol Frohlinger, a consultant with Negotiating Women, a professional coaching firm for women.  

"On a personal basis, women have been socialized to be grateful. Nice girls don't ask, they wait for people to recognize that they've done a fabulous job and provide them with a raise and a bonus that is commensurate with the efforts they've put forth," says Frohlinger. "And this, at a large company, may never happen."

All too often, mid-level professional women get the short end of the bargaining stick, not because they perform at a lower level, but simply because many aren't assertive about what they want. In fact, women are 2.5 times more likely to say they feel "a great deal of apprehension about negotiating," according to Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, authors of the book "Women Don't Ask."

Many Asians also have trouble asking for money and better benefits, says Catherine Law, executive director of ASCEND, an organization for pan-Asian professionals in accounting and finance.

"Culturally, [for Asians] talking money is one of the forbidden things, like asking a woman her age," says Law. "Many Asians feel that if they sit quiet and just do their work, the money will come. I always tell people, 'You have to go out and ask for what you want. You have to negotiate.'"  

"Don't be passive," says Stephanie Chick, professional coach and genius of Deliver the Package, a professional coaching firm. "You have the greatest amount of leverage after the offer has been extended but before you've accepted it."

To make the most of that leverage, even in a tight economy, you need to be prepared. Here are five things you need to know to negotiate effectively.

1. Know the job market in your field.

When going in to negotiate your salary package, make sure you've done research on your industry as a whole, as well as the company you are joining.

"You have to get really good data about what it is that this job pays in your industry and in your part of the country for people with the same education and experience," says Frohlinger. She adds that doing this kind of research will give you a good idea of what your salary range would be in the market. "You have to be able to present a business case," she says.

2. Know what value you bring to the table.

Negotiation is not the time to be shy, warns Chick. Not having a clear understanding of your value can cost you big.

"Know your worth before you enter into any salary negotiations," says Chick. "That can be your industry knowledge; that can be your experience; it can be your client relationships that you can bring to an organization. These things give your employer a total view of your worth."

Frohlinger agrees. "The people who are effective advocates for themselves are the people who get what they ask for," she says. "Those who don't ask don't get. You have to proactively advocate for yourself."

Once you are on the job, it's important to reassess your value regularly, particularly if you are thinking about asking for a raise.  

Law advises people to lay out point-by-point the contributions they have made to a company. "You have to say, 'Look, I've done x, y and z. They have added x, y and z to the company. That's why I deserve an increase.'"

3. Know what you can and can't ask for.

Some benefits that are negotiable at one company, such as vacation time, may not be at others. Many companies require you to work a certain amount of time before you are eligible for certain benefits like a 401(k) or a health plan. Also remember that there isn't a lot of room for negotiation on benefits that involve tax deductions or are regulated by law. Before negotiating, find out as much as you can about your company's policies and also how things are generally done in your industry.

The size of your company may also dictate what you are offered. For instance, a larger company may offer multiple plans for healthcare with differing levels of coverage, but may match a smaller percentage of your contribution to your 401(k) plan. At a smaller company, there may be only one healthcare plan but greater flexibility in working from home and professional development.

4. Know what you want besides money.

It's important to understand that your total compensation extends beyond dollars and cents. Your negotiations should include things that will help you better achieve a work-life balance.

"In these economic times, you have to think more expansively," says Frohlinger. This means "thinking about what else can I ask for that has value to me, but may not be as big of a give from the employer's standpoint."

Consider benefits such as being able to work from home, professional development, additional vacation time, being able to go back to school or bonus opportunities.  

"The challenge when you have a single issue in a negotiation: there isn't a lot of room for creativity," says Frohlinger. "I always encourage people to think more broadly about what you can ask for."

5. Know your end goal.

Understanding what you want to get out of the negotiations will make the process go more smoothly.

"Understand upfront within yourself what the target is," says Chick. "Often what people do is wait for the offer to be extended to them. But I tell people to know what their target is so that they can be ready to do a counterproposal.

"If what's offered is what you are looking for then the negotiations are over," she says. "And that's always a good thing."

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