Keywords: workplace diversity, peer relationships, job tips, bullying
If you read Workplace Bullying: Why Women Are Affected More, you discovered key information about why women bully women more often in the workplace than men do. But the underlying message was that bullying, across the lines of gender, culture, religion and sexual orientation, is wrong--period.
Stress affects the health of 45 percent of bullied targets, according to a survey conducted by the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) and Zogby International. That stress is then carried home with the victim and can potentially cause dissonance with family and friends.
"[Bullying] crosses the line when it causes someone to have their health harmed, either their mental health or their emotional health or their physical health," Dr. Gary Namie of the Workplace Bullying Institute says in a television interview. "It's health-harming mistreatment, and it's not just tough management, either. That's mythical. A bullying boss is one who disproportionately dumps everything on one or two people that they've targeted for the mistreatment."
About 37 percent of American workers, or 54 million people, have been bullied at work at one point or another, according to the survey. Of the Latinos polled, 52 percent said they'd been bullied. Forty-six percent of Blacks polled said they had been bullied. Interestingly, there are higher occurrences of depression and domestic violence among these two groups as well.
Depression is the leading mental-health problem among Latino immigrants, according to the book Depression in Latinos by Sergio A. Aguilar-Gaxiola and Thomas P. Gullotta. It is difficult to give a specific percentage of how many Black people are affected because 63 percent view depression as a "personal weakness," according to the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation, and thus do not seek treatment.
According to WBI, mistreatment at work can directly cause domestic violence.
Here are some ways being bullied at work can negatively affect domestic stability and tranquility:
Taking it out on the wrong person
Often, targets of workplace bullying don't feel confident in reporting a problem to the human-resources department for fear of backlash or being labeled as a "complainer" or "whiner."
"Most [people in human resources] like to blow it off and discount it," Namie says.
So instead of risking losing their job, people hold the stresses of being bullied at work until they get home. Then they lash out at those they love. According to the WBI, the enemy is the bully, but family members pay the price for the target's inability or unwillingness to fight back at work.
Nonverbal messages
Some people try to keep bullying at work to themselves, but loved ones can often spot nonverbal messages. The WBI gives the examples of sleep disruption (ranked No. 2 for health consequences for bullied individuals at 84 percent), anxiety (94 percent) and depression, which affects the victim and the people who care about him or her.
Other health consequences include loss of concentration, panic attacks, feelings of paranoia, recurrent nightmares, suicidal thoughts and thoughts about being violent to others.
Can workplace bullying be resolved before it becomes problematic?
Namie says there are three distinct steps to take but that it's "easy to say, incredibly hard to do." Namie outlines three steps to potentially alleviate workplace bullying:
1. Name it
"Naming it is powerful, and it's the first step to making it legitimate so you don't blame yourself. Call it bullying, call it psychological harassment."
2. Take time off
"Get time off from work, and while you're off … check your legal options, check your health and start building the case [and] gather some data."
3. Expose the bully
"Go bully-busting. You've got to go as high up as you can, not HR. And make the business case that the bully is too expensive to keep. And you've got to show the turnover and all the other incidental things the bully causes in terms of disruption, absenteeism, [and] loss of productivity, and if that company doesn't want to listen to you, you get out for your health's sake."
Sadly, 77 percent of victims either leave or lose their jobs. "A lot of [the bullies] are just soccer moms. [Some] 58 percent of all the bullies are women. They're great people but they're situational bullies. They just transform themselves in the workplace and get hyper-aggressive," Namie says. "It gets rewarded. It gets them promoted. And that's why I think women are as likely to be bullies as men. They just simply read the cues."
So when it comes down to your health and the strength of family ties and friendships, weigh your options as to what can be the best solution for you. Leaving a negative work situation today may mean a positive future with less stress and other health complications. It's your call!
One Latina's Story
Although this woman would like to remain anonymous, her powerful story shows that the Workplace Bullying Institute findings are accurate. She says:
I was hired as an administrative assistant for a very prestigious center at a very prestigious university. I noticed from the start of my new job that my boss was not going to be the easiest person to work for. He belittled his staff in front of everyone. He took credit for the work that his staff did. He had very noticeable unethical practices in the workplace. And he did not respect the fact that I had recently lost my mother to heart disease and was very distraught over it. Basically, he just said, "Those things happen." Really?
I remember an incident when he requested that I arrange international travel for him. I made the arrangements and did not confirm the flight without his approval. When he was due to return to the United States, he called and asked why I booked the return flight on the date that it was scheduled--at which time I reminded him that he approved the flight. When he returned, he was in a very hostile mood with me. He called me in his office and closed the door to his office and would not let me leave until he finished screaming at me about the flight. I was floored, to say the least.
This is just one example of the mannerisms he displayed all the time. When I would leave work, I would be emotionally and physically drained. The best thing I could do was stay alone and not bother anyone with my work issues. During my sleep, I would awaken to my own screams. I always felt like my heart was beating way too fast. Every morning, when I would wake up, my stomach would turn into knots and I would feel very anxious, because I knew I had no choice at that time. I had to go to work. But I did not want to have to face my boss. He made my days and nights miserable.
The sad thing about this whole situation is that I would inform the people that I thought could help me and they wouldn't. His position in the company was far more important than mine.
Readers' Comments
I recently attended a seminar at a Diversity conference which addressed bullying in the workplace. The speaker was a lawyer who handled "bullying" cases and the financial impact it has on a company. I was really impressed and found (in my optomistic view) especially now that the economy is the way it is that some of the reasons to keep a bully in the workplace may not hold true due to potential lawsuits and/or perceptions companies may face. I don't agree with each tactic mentioned however, I do think there's more support for handling this differently than before.
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