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Things NEVER to Say to Asian Coworkers
By Kevin Canessa Jr. - May 13, 2009
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Also read: Asian American, career advice, Things Not to Say, Rutgers


Recently, Texas lawmaker Betty Brown suggested during a voter-identification hearing that it might be wise for Chinese Americans to "Americanize" their names for the sake of people who don't speak Chinese. Brown's comment, which landed her in the DiversityInc Hall of Shame, is just one of several rude phrases people say to Asian Americans.


Click here to read "The DiversityInc Top 10 Companies for Asian Americans List."


Click here to read "Asian-American Factoids."


Click here to read "Which Industries Are Best for Asian-American Women?"


"Can't you 'Americanize' your name?"


Not only did Brown suggest to an Asian American that "your citizens" change their names, she said it would be unfair for "us" to have to learn Chinese to better understand surnames. Michael Yaki, a political consultant and attorney in San Francisco, wrote on SFGate.com that Brown's comments were not only inappropriate, they were factually incorrect.


"Last I checked, one of the most common Chinese surnames was still Wong. And Chin. And Lee. One syllable. I guess I'm a bit confused as to how these names are 'difficult' for voter officials in Texas to figure out," Yaki writes. "I'm not sure what century Rep. Brown is from, but the fact that she said 'your citizens'--as if somehow the quality of being an American is distinguished by national origin, accent or skin color--is pretty scary."


"If war broke out between your native country and America, which side would you support?"


The late Iris Chang wrote several books on the Asian-American experience, including "The Chinese in America," an honest chronicle of how Chinese people have been treated as outsiders in this country. Chang was fueled to write her bestselling book because a junior high-school classmate asked this very question: "Her question, innocently put, captures the crux of the problem facing the ethnic Chinese in America. Even though many are U.S. citizens whose families have been here for generations, while others are more recent immigrants who have devoted the best years of their lives to this country with citizenship as their goal, none can truly get past the distinction of race or entirely shake the perception of being seen as foreigners in their own land."


Dr. Jane Junn, associate professor of political science at Rutgers University, who is Chinese American, says her students have asked her the same question.


"They're interested in everything," Junn says. "And they may not be asking with malicious intent. But they ask nonetheless. For Asian Americans who are not first generation, this can be extremely insulting."


"You must be the IT person" or "You must be so good at math."


Linda Akutagawa, who is Japanese American and vice president of resource and business development for the nonprofit Leadership Education for Asian Pacifics (LEAP), says that too often it is assumed that Asian-American executives are best as tech- or admin-support staff.


"Implicit in that statement is that you're good at numbers and technology, so you're good behind the scenes," explains Allan Mark, who is Chinese American and the America's director of diversity strategy and development, for Ernst & Young (No. 3 on The 2009 DiversityInc Top 50 Companies for Diversity® list).


Truth is, "not all Asian Americans are strong with numbers," Junn says, though the stereotypical comment is almost "inevitably asked."


"You're not exactly leadership material."


For Asian-American executives who recently immigrated to the United States, the stereotype is two-fold: Not only are they viewed as not being leaders but their cultural norms are interpreted by U.S.-born executives as passive.


"In America, the leadership skill is defined by how confrontational, direct and aggressive you are," says Sameer Samudra, Six Sigma black belt at Cummins, No. 42 in the DiversityInc Top 50.


Samudra, who was born in India and came to the United States as a student in 1998, remembers a boss once questioning his commitment to work because he was reserved during meetings.


"We respect authority and come from a hierarchical culture," Samudra says. "Our leadership style considers how well the team members get along, so there's an emphasis on team building and learning in the process."

Readers' Comments

 

Your opinions and thoughts...
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
I think people are too paranoid. I don't find "you must be good at math" offensive AT ALL. It's just small talk. And yes, I'm Asian. .
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
Are you kidding me...common sense has gone by the wayside. Let's treat folks the way we want to be treated and be considerate of folks feelings. Some things are better left unsaid and yet we seem to want to talk just for the heck of it without a thought for what results we want from our communications..
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
"You must be the IT person" or "You must be so good at math."I would think it would depend on a lot of other circumstances as to whether these two statements would be offensive. If you walked into a room, and saw an Asian person standing there, and said one of these statements, I could see that being offensive, but moreover ludicrous. If you were being presented with something that showed tech or math savvy, then why would these statements be offensive. I do agree, that people are paranoid, but generationally speaking, some have a reason to be paranoid..
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
I find the you're so good at math comments to be offensive because it pigeonholes us. By implication, we must be good at mathematics, IT, engineering, maybe finance - and we're not qualified outside those areas.In contrast, my language skills are better than my pure math skills, and I'm better at statistics than math. I work in health policy, and I wouldn't want to be pigeonholed..
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
This is absolutely true. I remember being asked as a young man which side would I chose If there where a war. I have also been asked if I could help a coworker with a computer problem as if I where his tech guy. .
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
You must like sushi, what do you recommend?Hey so are your from the North or South?You're very outspoken for an Asian. Asian people are usually submissive and are followers so they don't make good executives..
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
This website and the newsletters are not supportive of diversity. Both are supportive of anything that is not a white male. This is an exclusionary tactic, and is racist. You are what you oppose. Ironic, isn't it? How about an article entitled "Things that you should never say to a white man" or "Political Correctness is keeping the black man down". It is so disappointing to see a group focus on KEEPING our physical differences in the public light. Nobody cares anymore.RL .
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
"In America, the leadership skill is defined by how confrontational, direct and aggressive you are,"As true as that statement may be, if you are Asian, and you do have those attributes, you have to own your own business, because non-Asian Americans will not accept an Asian having those qualities. It's not a cultural problem; it's just pure racial prejudice. .
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
The barriers between diverse groups will never fall if such stereotypes are not directly confronted. The "Things NEVER to Say to..." series is valuable in that it exposes stereotypes, but prompts the reaction, "Why not?" You are preaching to the choir. If someone tries to stereotype me -- based on gender, color, whatever -- so long as it's not done hatefully, they are, at least, attempting to communicate. I gently, and privately, let them know their comment is potentially offensive, and why. Usually, they're either joking or totally unaware it's a stereotype; all have accepted my sentiments in the spirit in which offered and expressed gratitude for the heads-up. It's about building bridges, not perpetuating the distances between us..
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
While I understand the value of openly discussing emotionally charged situations in the workplace, I have struggled with this series "What Never To Say. . ." since being a subscribed member. My reaction has been consistently one of amazement followed by "no, this must be the script for a Dilbert comic strip."While we have all been on both ends of social blunders, we can understand the necessity to be aware of how are behavior affects our coworkers. But is this series just one more method of perpetuating the very stereotypes we strive to change? As our world becomes a cultural melting pot, we should question the ability or necessity of viewing others through a perceived set of "guidelines.""What you should never say to an Asian-Black-Polynesian-Hispanic-Anglo coworker?" .
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
Being an American is not so simple or easy. We all have the freedom of speach but we have to watch what we say, we all have a dream but we have to be careful how we describe it or seek it, and when others that are not American born and have migrated to America for its freedom, get some kind of financial assistance from the government to start a new business in America while people that have lived in America for countless generations can not even qualify for a SBA loan, you have to say quietly to yourself so that no one can here you, how unfair is this, and that it's just wrong. What the hell is going on in this country of ours.Many people in this country believe that if you want to be an American Citizen you must at least speak the American language but its offensive if you make a statement or say it out loud. Everyone is intitled to there own opinion as long as it doesn't offend someone. I believe its ok to speak and retain your own language and or traditions as long as you speak American and try to be American. There are so many other things that have gone sideways in this wonderful country of ours. On the other side of the coin so many Americans can not name the past four or five presidents of the United States are or recite the preemble to the constitution, while those that want so badly to be an American citizan can.It's reverse discrimination and discrimination. Hell its all wrong, but its my country. It may not be perfect and we make mistakes but I love it so very much and will do, and have done anything my country asked me to.God bless America, God bless our president and leaders of this country. Oh yes, one last thing; if you don't love this country, leave. If you are not happy, go. Try to speak out about another country and its government in public and see what happens. Love it or leave it..
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
To be honest, there should have been an accompanying article or sidebar for employers to hire Asians in places other than IT or Accounting. Asians, African Americans and Hispanics/Latinos are always piggeonholed by hiring managers and HR in top corporate employment. I've been to intervieews where I've been introduced to the accounting department and 98% is all Asian, but there were no Asians in management. Also I've been to companies where 98% of the production crew was Hispanic but there were no Hispanics in management, but one in HR, of course to oversee those in production. It's not about the Asians being in IT or Accounting only, it's about the employer not quite knowing what Diversity really is but filling a chair, a stereotypical one, to give the impression that they are diverse..
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
I find it amazing how individuals are so quick to deem one as being super smart or ultra intelligent by a persons race alone. In America today no one is a racist, however, I believe, no one gives much thought to the definition of the word racist. A lot of our racist ideals show up in what we say, and I dont think americans should have to watch what they say if only they were to change the way that they think. Race should not be an indication of intelligence. .
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
As an African American living in a country built off the horrid treatment and labor of my people which is not yet fully recognized today, I can speak a little on this topic.First, I really find the article title offensive.We should seek to understand other cultures, not measure them or attempt to bring them up to European standards. Different does not equate to "less than."Diversity training and presentation should always take the stance of understanding a culture through relevation of the culture. Our educational system should require that we learn other cultures that make this America.How can we teach, lead, and manage such a diverse nation of people who are reflective of the world only from European standards and reference points?And no one should try to become "American"! Being American means you can be who you are culturally and humanily. Now, I do agree, one should be able to also speak the primary language of the land one lives in.So much, though not purposeful, prejudice oozes from this article and responses. Remember, we're human first. .
Posted Friday May 1, 2009 by Guest;
I think sometimes we take ourselves way too seriously. Most people say things like this because they are trying to be friendly or just making small talk. I'd probably correct them with a wink and a smile, but wouldn't get into an uproar about it.When someone says to me "Y'know I have a good friend who's Filipino" I'll say, "What a coincidence, I have a good friend who's White" then laugh it off as a joke. They get the point.We're creating a new stereotype that Asians can't laugh at themselves or are overly sensitive. Lighten up people! .
Posted Sunday May 3, 2009 by Guest;
I'd have to agree with Ryan Long and bdip bdip's post.I think the article is very offensive. The title alone is offensive. but I don't see how the comment "you must be good at math" can be offensive.I wish people said that to me I love math, but I'm Spanish and employers assumed I'm a workaholic or slave. .
Posted Sunday May 3, 2009 by Guest;
Quite frankly, every point stated as "Not to say" within this article should be common sense. I am amazed that we need to be TOLD what not to say to each other....
Posted Monday May 4, 2009 by Guest;
Very interesting subject. I can only blame how American history was taught in this country. We did a terrible job of including all the various groups that make America. We need education not ignorance. With education we may be able to acquire respect for all peoples. I still cry for my friends who were sent to concentration camp during WWII. It should never have happened.Most minority groups have suffered at the whim of European Bullies. When are we really going to do better?.
Posted Monday May 4, 2009 by Guest;
There's such a blurred line regarding stereotypes... and it also seems to matter who is making the comment about whom.Stereotypes literally exist in all shapes and forms. Americans point out and comment on "the dumb blonde," "the cheap Jew," "the greasy Italian," "the flaming homo," "the dumb jock" and many other flavorful assumptions of people. Livid individuals combat each other in hopes of clearing the stereotypical issues bewildering many Americans.However I do feel that these stereotypes exist based on some truth. No matter how long or brief the time period, the inclusion of a stereotype in a society is not invented or is not attributed to only one individual.And, yes, some Asian last names are crazy long and so difficult to pronounce, like Keosoudavannavong, Oudomphonephaivanh, Rajphangthongsy, In Sri Xieng Mai, Sereymeaphkipich...and so on...go figure! LOL! And, I'm very sure Betty Brown thinks of every Asian as Chinese Americans. :)Again, it's not about history per se, but rather the lack of knowledge on the different races and cultures of the world. Every generation has its own wave of different immigrants. This millenium has an influx of South Asians and Middle Easterns. Just get in the program and be more tolerant..
Posted Tuesday May 5, 2009 by Guest;
These articles always fascinate me. Some of it is common sense others real information. However the bottom line is that the writer is probably preaching to the choir. I have many managers (and unfortunately is IS many) that wouldn't get why these are inappropriate. I once had a manager ask an applicant sent to us from a disability rehab problem ask the interviewee 'what was wrong' with her. And a manager once commented in a staff meeting that he 'didn't know she was caribbean but that explains why she is always so happy go lucky'. Frequently, I have no warning before these statements come out and can only sit there stunned as the words fall from the manager's lips. I say preaching to the choir because after such a situation, I try to explain to the manager why the statement is inappropriate to no avail. They can't see what is wrong with it so many of these conversations end with me saying "just don't say it again". Of course, sending them an article like this would mean that I was "too sensitive". We're the choir. We already know better for the most part. In fact, because we are the choir, many of us live and believe what is said in this article. The managers, well, we can only pray. .
Posted Monday May 18, 2009 by Guest;
It is preposterous to be offended by the questions. I was borned and raised Asian and has lived here (US) for 43 years. My experience has been people have different degree of education and the environment in which they grow up. I cannot recall any instance when I was subjected to racial bias. Racists (they are still around), are raised by parents who are racists and ignorant. Instead of condemming them, they should be educated with understanding. After all we are all human beings, and passengers of this planet Earth. So, we should get along..
Posted Friday May 29, 2009 by Guest;
It's pure racism..
Posted Monday Jun 8, 2009 by Guest;
 The idea of diversity in the work place is meant to be about Inclusion, and Understanding of All people. Sometimes people say stupid things that they later regret, but as one of the other writers mentioned, it may well have been because of that person's lack of education, and a lack of exposure to other nationalities while growing up, not necessarily a racist remark. The intention of sparking a conversation in the first place is usually done in an attempt of friendship, and not alienation. I have friends from all over the world, and do not judge any of them because they are from somewhere other than I, or the fact that we have very different physical appearances. I choose to learn about them, enjoy their company, and celebrate the differences, because after all "variety is the spice of life." (When it gets down to the basics we are all more simular than most of us think, we all want friendship, understanding, and acceptance. That is what diversity should be about! .
Posted Monday Jun 15, 2009 by Guest;
Other than the section on Betty Brown, I don't consider any of the other author's points offensive. Even with the Brown case, I'd attribute it to comical, old-fashioned ignorance, as opposed to any kind of maliciousness.I'm Korean and have dated outside of my race many times, and the best, most loving relationships I've had were the ones where there were no PC-boundaries between us. I've had white girlfriends that affectionately teased me about my eyes, my body hairlessness, the stereotypical way Asians muddle R's and L's, and every other Asian stereotype one could imagine. For anyone to suggest however that any of these girls were bigots or racists would be absolutely asinine. I know who I am, and I'm most proud of my heritage, and I don't need others telling me when I should and should not be offended; my own common sense will dictate this.Likewise, for any non-Asians who have read this article, unless you're socially obtuse and prone to serious gaffes of the tongue, I'd also recommend you just use your common sense and the context of the situation as your guides. For those less adept at dealing with people of Oriental ancestry, here's a rule of thumb that might help. If you're in a work environment or meeting someone for the first time, hold back on the Jackie Chan references. If, on the other hand, the Asian in question is someone you've formed a comfortable bond with, don't be afraid to let your hair down a little. In my opinion, the most genuine and meaningful relationships (both romantic and platonic) are those that allow people the freedom to address and/or laugh about their differences..
Posted Tuesday Oct 27, 2009 by Guest;
Homogeneous societies don't have this problem. Kudos to the Japanese, who generally stay in their own country..
Posted Wednesday Nov 18, 2009 by Guest;
We are a nation of weinnies. Always looking to be offended. If anyone should be offende it is straight white males..

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