By Jenny C. McCune - Jun 17, 2009
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disability, things not to say, career, factoids, accessibility Jenny C. McCune, a freelance writer based in Bozeman, Mont., is in the process of changing careers since her spinal-cord injury two years ago. Currently, she's pursuing her master's degree in counseling at Montana State University and hopes to someday help others overcome their mental challenges.
I never much liked getting help. I prefer to do things on my own. But my need for help increased dramatically since my bicycle accident in 2007, which bruised my spinal cord. That day in July, I went from being a freelance writer who earned a decent living and raced bicycles for fun to being a quadriplegic who was paralyzed from the high chest down.
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Since I had an incomplete injury, I've been able to recover much of my movement over the past two years. I can walk (albeit on unsteady legs) and move my arms and hands. But I can no longer type 110 words a minute or take notes like I used to--my upper extremities continue to be quite weak. So I can no longer earn a living as a freelance writer.I also sometimes need assistance putting away change or sliding my debit card through the checkout machine, and asking strangers for help has always been a challenge for me. But what I've found as a person who has recently acquired a disability is that most people are very generous and eager to help … sometimes almost overly helpful.
What's the biggest mistake, in my mind, people make when interacting with a person with a disability? They're impatient. They don't ask if I need help or what type of help I need. They just jump in and open a door or rush to grab me a wheelchair instead of allowing me to try to do it on my own.
A couple of weeks ago, for example, I was at the opera. My friends and I bought tickets at the last moment, so we ended up with seats in the balcony. As we were leaving, and I gingerly began making my way down the steps, a gentleman just grabbed my elbow instead of asking me how he could help. This was not a smart move. Since I don't have a lot of sensation, he nearly threw me off my balance.
The best way to assist a person with a disability is to first ascertain his or her need. Ask: "Do you need a hand? How can I help you?"
About a month ago, when I was traveling by myself and on layover in a Denver airport, I was anxious to ride the escalator. But I realized I shouldn't go solo. Luckily, a pilot came to my rescue and asked if I needed help. I explained that I just needed someone to stand by my side in case I lost my balance. He did what I had asked--and I experienced going up an escalator again for the first time in two years! This gentleman was helpful because he let me direct him. That empowered me and ensured that I got the best assistance possible.
I know most people's hearts are in the right place when they grab me without asking or assume that because I have a physical disability, my brain must also be damaged. Sometimes I have the patience to deal with it; sometimes I get downright ornery. But I do the best I can to explain how to help.
So the next time you encounter a person with a disability, don't immediately lend a hand. First, ask if he or she needs help. That will go a long way to ensuring a positive outcome.
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